Setting Boundaries That Work - Why Saying ‘No’ is Sometimes the Best Yes
I get it! You struggle to keep your mind on work when you are at work and find it challenging to keep your mind at home when you are at home. This is a recipe for burnout. I'm here to help! Boundaries can feel like a big issue. Lately, boundaries have become something of a buzzword. Let's start small by breaking boundaries into smaller, more manageable categories of Work, Home, and Self-care. Yes, we will still face challenges even with these categories, but don't worry, I have that covered.
Let's Try Breaking Boundaries Into Categories- Work Boundaries:
- Tip: Set specific work hours and communicate them clearly to your colleagues and supervisors. This could mean not answering work emails after 6 PM or turning off work notifications during family time. I personally will not answer work calls or emails after 5pm during the week and never on the weekends.
- Example: If your workday ends at 5 PM, make it a habit to wrap up any outstanding tasks by 4:45 PM and then shut down your computer. Let your team know that unless it’s an emergency, you won’t be available until the next morning.
- Home Boundaries:
- Tip: Designate specific times for family activities where work is off-limits. For example, family dinners or weekend mornings could be reserved exclusively for family bonding. Remember, these times and activities may change as your family grows and children age. Boundaries still need flexibility.
- Example: Implement a 'no phones at the dinner table' rule to ensure that mealtime is for connecting with your loved ones without distractions.
- Self-Care Boundaries:
- Tip: Schedule non-negotiable time for self-care, just as you would for a work meeting. This could be a weekly yoga class, a nightly bath, or a monthly day off. I treat my self-care time like it is a doctor's appointment that can't me missed. (Without adequate self-care, I would find myself in the doctor's office with burnout, so I think of this like preventative medicine.)
- Example: Mark a 30-minute block in your calendar each day for a walk or meditation, and treat it as an important meeting with yourself. This can look different depending on your personality and preferences.
- Handling Challenges:
- Tip: When boundaries are challenged, respond with grace but firmness. Reiterate your boundaries calmly and stick to them. Remember, boundaries are a sign of self-respect. If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect others to respect you.
- Example: If a colleague insists on contacting you after hours, politely remind them of your work hours and suggest scheduling a time to discuss their concerns during your working hours. If this doesn't work, simply opt to not respond until the appropriate time. You get to choose your response.
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