Handling Rejection Like a Pro

How Do You Feel When Someone Says No to You?

Have you ever stopped to think about how you react when someone tells you no? At first glance, the answer might seem obvious: "I’m fine with it." But when I took the time to really sit with that question, I discovered my feelings were far more complicated.

For me, it turns out that I’m only okay with a no in certain situations. If I’m not emotionally attached to the ask, it’s no big deal. But when it’s something I’ve deeply invested in—something I’ve tied my self-worth to—a no feels personal.

Why Does It Feel Personal?

I rarely ask for things. When I do, it’s usually because I believe it’s something important or necessary. So when someone says no, it feels like more than just a rejection of my idea. It feels like they’re rejecting me.

In those moments, my brain tells me all kinds of untrue stories:

• "They don’t like me."
• "I don’t matter."
• "I’m not good enough."

Logically, I know these things aren’t true. There’s no evidence that someone saying no to my request is tied to my worth as a person. But emotionally? It’s hard not to feel that sting.

The Weight of a No

Why does a no feel so much heavier in some situations than in others? I’ve realized it’s all about how much of myself I attach to the request. If it’s something I care deeply about, it feels like the no is rejecting my identity, my effort, or my value.

This realization helped me see that I need to work on separating my worth from the outcome of my requests. Their no isn’t about me—it’s about their situation, priorities, or boundaries.

Reflecting on Your Own Reaction

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to take a moment to sit with this journal prompt:
How do I feel when someone says no to me? Why?

Write freely. Let your thoughts flow. You might uncover patterns in your reactions or deeper insights about yourself.

For me, reflecting on this question was eye-opening. It’s helping me reframe how I approach asking for things and how I handle rejection.

Let’s Start a Conversation

What about you? Have you noticed how you respond when someone says no? Does it ever feel personal, or are you able to brush it off?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share them in the comments below, or take this as an opportunity to start your own journey of reflection.

Remember, a no doesn’t define your worth—it’s simply an answer.